DREAM

There once was a girl named Joe. Joe always wanted to be a dentist. She was currently going to school to become one. One night she went into a deep sleep and dreamt of being a zoo cgae cleaner. Her imagination went wild. She could pet the animals and could clean their living space too. She didn't mind the smell. She didn't mean to take those allergy pills before bed. They messed her up. She couldn't think right. All Joe wanted to do was see the animals and clean the cages and love them. Her mind opened up and her dream became more vivid. She loved tickling the penguins and loving them. It was everything. Joe knew it was her destiny. Teeth and dentistry became a distant and cloudy memory. She was a whole new person with a whole new outlook on life. She never felt so loved since her car crash in 07. She never felt so whole again.



So she woke up and decided that was going to be her profession.

Losing My Mind.

When I creep down to the subconscious crevices of my basement mind I find a lot of things. Hopes, dreams, fears. You could get lost in it. But I can't tell you what's in it. Because even I am not sure. How could I tell you if I don't know.

fictional

Once again there was no food in the house. My brothers and I sat in silence as we were all starving. Another late night just us in the house. The room had a thick smell of stale ciggarettes and dog food just like it always does as you could hear the clock ticking minute after minute, second after second, hour after hour. We scraped up all the change we could find and walked down to the AM PM store down the road from our house.

We returned to the house. Our mother was still gone much to our dismay. We miss and barely ever see her, but we see her more than we did when she was in jail. We all are so glad that she's home but almost feel she would be safer in jail. We worry about her safety constantly. But we ignore it and eat our chips in silence. Our two dogs neal patiently in front of us waiting for be given a snack. Which we don't give them.

It's been 3 years after our mom got out of prison. We haven't heard from Mike after she got released. She often tells us the ups and downs of lock down and how she survived her 4 year sentence. Seeing her in there was so unbelievably painful. Watching the center of your universe behind bars like a animal was the worst experience of my life and something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I miss the life we had before. The fancy cars, huge houses, designer clothes. Being spoiled. Having huge Sunday dinners. Being able to whatever you wanted. That life seemed so far away from us now.

I heard the door creak. Mom was home. She had a huge cut on her face and she was clearly drunk. "Jerry paid me $200 bucks!" She exclaimed very childlike "You guys want to go and get some food!" Our hearts broke but our stomachs growled. Alright we said quietly. And left to go eat.We had a good dinner and all went to sleep fed that night.

My mom married a man named Mike about ten years ago. When all my brothers and I were very young. He was a very rich man. Millionaire. Mike was somewhat of  a father figure to us but Mom was happy, and so were we. A few years after Mike and Mom's marriage we found out that Mike was in the process of money laundering. Everything was gone. Our house, our things, our Mom. Even though our mother had no idea about the ordeal she was prosecuted and went to prison too. The worst thing that ever happened to us. She can't get a job and no one would hire her after her stint. So she runs the house turning tricks to support us.

She leaves for days without seeing us.

I fell too deep in your ocean,
I tried to swim back to shore,
The water filling up my lungs,
I was about to be no more,

Then I grasped hold of my spirit,
and I made my way to land,
Losing all the water,
I began to feel the sand,

Like a fish out of the water,
I'm gasping for your air,
Now that I'm not in the ocean,
I turn and your not there,

And though I feel so out of place,
I know in time I'll mend,
I'll never dip my toes in you,
I won't return again,

umm...so today i ate